It’s that time of year again, the New Year. If you’re like most people, you have resolved to start making changes in your life. Now that the month is halfway over, how successful have you been at keeping your resolution? If you find yourself already falling short of the goals you’ve set for yourself, you’re not alone. Making change is challenging. This is the reason why most people’s resolutions fail. We often set promises that fall short.
Why can’t we stick to our goals? Like any form of procrastination, defaulting on New Year’s resolutions is based on an undercurrent of fear of the unknown. What drives our fear?
1. You’re using “All or Nothing”/Perfectionist thinking
Resolutions rely on behavior change and eliminating all other possibilities. When you “decide” ( the word “decide” is derived from the Latin decidere meaning to “cut off”) it means you are resolved to make this work. You may consider any time you fall off or miss a step to equal failure.
Resolutions may often create judgment around your behavior.
What to do instead:
- Recognize that starting any new behavior may have failure built inside. Each “slip up” is a learning opportunity to learn more about yourself and your habits. You are discovering ways to cope with difficulty and discomfort as you rewire your brain. View each slip-up as an opportunity to practice self-compassion. Adapt the mantra “progress, not perfection.”
- Explore the intent behind the resolution. If you feel you suffer from perfectionism, you may opt for intentions instead of resolutions. Intentions are gentler and connect with the “why” behind your behavior. For example, consider the intent behind the resolution: “Being healthier” rather than having the resolution to “avoid all sugar.”
2. You are used to betraying yourself
According to Dr….
Imported from Accelerated Resolution Therapy Blog – Read More
