As ART delivers results in a shorter amount of time with less verbal discussion around traumatic stories, therapists often experience less compassion fatigue than in other therapies. However, as you hold space for the suffering of others in any capacity, it is still possible to feel burned out from time to time. For this reason and others, practicing self-compassion is of utmost importance. As someone who frequently occupies the role of a calm presence offering unconditional positive regard, it is crucial to show up similarly in your own life.
What is self-compassion?
Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneer and author of the book “Self-Compassion” defines the practice as treating ourselves as warmly and forgiving as we would a beloved friend, family member, or any person in our lives. Through self-compassion, we are able to recognize that to be human is to understand suffering as a shared bond with the rest of humanity. As we realize that suffering is universal, we permit ourselves to be gentle and kind in the face of hardships.
Frequently we are culturally conditioned to think of self-compassion as self-indulgent or self-pitying. A typical upbringing may tell us that ignoring the pain and “pushing through” demonstrates toughness. Self-Compassion is an act of strength that acknowledges suffering and realizes the type of care needed to move forward.
Dr. Kristin Neff breaks down self-compassion into three components:
Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment
Practicing self-kindness means treating yourself with warmth, forgiveness, and compassion when you fail or undergo any hardship. When you practice self-compassion, you witness life’s challenges, recognizing your humanity and imperfections. When you push away these realities, you experience self-criticism instead of emotional equanimity. Treat yourself with the same understanding you would exhibit toward a loved one, loving yourself similarly.
Common Humanity vs. Isolation
When you experience frustration over life’s setbacks, this can be a very lonely process. Thought distortions may have you believe that you are the only one who experiences suffering or makes mistakes. As you realize that being human means to be imperfect, you understand that suffering is common to the human condition, making you feel less alone.
Mindfulness vs. Over-identification
Self-compassion means treating all of your emotions with equanimity, which means “mental calmness and evenness of temper”. You may feel the urge to exaggerate or push them away as feelings arise. As you exercise emotional regulation, you recognize, feel, and validate your suffering and put it into a larger perspective. As you practice mindfulness, you become a non-judgemental observer. Practicing mindfulness in this way distances you from becoming over-identified in your emotions.
Why it is essential to practice self-compassion as a caregiver?
In her new book “Come Passion: The Soulful ART of Healing Trauma,” Colleen Clark illustrates the importance of practicing self-compassion as a trauma-informed therapist.
“YOU ARE A LONG-TERM CAREGIVER FOR YOURSELF
Self-compassion involves self-care; engage in your expertise and bring it to yourself. There is such a thing as the thriving therapist. You can thrive and make a difference in the lives of others who have great suffering. You have the key to help them through ART. So, how
